It always makes me laugh when summer finally hits us here in good old Blighty! Whats so funny about sun coming out through the clouds and the weather being immensley hot?

Well i’ll tell you what! Its basically ever Tom, Dick and Harry near enough stripping and thinking they are on the beach. Okay we get it that the sun is out but no one wants to see you and your flesh hanging about…no thank you!

You want a tan we also get that but its funny when the typical gora man is ripping into us for bein’ ‘BROWN‘…yet you want to be the same colour as us…whats all that about!

Trust me you think this is weather in Blighty is hot…go to Pakistan or India my friend…oooh you wont be surviving there

As promised follow the link

How To Lose A Rishta in 10 Ways

Watching comedians I don’t know if you have picked up on it, but its easier to take the piss out of your own religion then another persons. Now that is perhaps for obvious reasons but every other comedian will take the mickey out ethnic minorities and religion apart from Muslims and Pakistanis.

I don’t know if many people are aware of Azhar Usman the comedian from America. Perhaps the only prominent Muslim comedian I know thats out there that aint that bad.

His crew tour under the name ‘Allah Made Me Funny’ so check them out if you can. Im adding a clip here from one of Azhars earlier stand up comedy performances, so check it out and make sure you let me know what you think!!!

Was talking about pesto pasta with my manager and I remembered that my flatmate (who is Arab) made me pasta once with pesto, because it is meant to be nice :s

So all I see is some green stuff going into the pasta pot and I’m thinking right. So anyway nice of her to make it and when im eating it im thinking…

‘I can’t taste anything here’

Ungrateful I know, but I think being that much of a desi I need to have spices with at least everything. Just earlier I had a frozen Chicago Town Pizza and sprinkled dried chilli flakes and some black pepper, herbs galore!

Anyway this songs going out to my desi’s who love their curry’s to be mirchi

Im on Facebook and thought aw I myswell update my status to somethin’ philosophical and somethin’ that rhymes at the same time.

Now somethin’ you probs aint gathered about me is that I love to write poetry. For me that is my release. The feelin’ of writing something down on paper, which is poetic and deep always amazes me. Im always in awe of other peoples poetry as well…the way people present themself through words is sick!

Anyway I can remember the first time I wrote a poem and my little sister read it. Now these aren’t lovey dovey poems. No im not into that stuff. These are a bit dark but not that depressing. Its just words about life.

Anyway my little sister read it and she copied it and read it out loud infront my my dad. I felt so embarassed and i’ll tell you why. This kind of stuff us desi’s don’t really do. We are not meant to be creative. Our heads can only make sense of things relating to maths, science, engineering, IT and business. So fancy that when my dad hears it. I guess he always knew I was the odd child but still the look on his face!

All he really said was ‘ah thats really good. Did you write it yourself?’

PHEW! Nearly shit my pants for nothing lol!

But anyway I’ve just updated my Facebook status and its amazing to see how many people don’t believe that I can come up with something poetic. I guess I’m not that kind of person who boasts about their own talent but it’s annoyin when people don believe you!

Anyway a song that me and Niagra near enough fall asleep listenin’ to is quite poetic. So here it is, enjoy!

I totally forgot to give this Bhangra singer a mention to you.

Yes the guy from the Punjab died on April 13th 2009 in his sleep. They say it was complications in his liver caused by jaundice.

Many Bhangra fans will remember the guy as having great vocals. I’m sure his fans thoughts are with Kaka Bhaniawala’s family.

Many of you will remember this song from Britains Got Talent! The vocals on this track are that of late Bhangra singer Kaka Bhaniawala! A sick tune with amazing vocals. Enjoy the talent of a man who will be missed by many!

Yes the exactly what my neighbour said to these Pakistani kids who were playing football on the pavement outside of his house.

Just to let you know at this point. Our neighbour is actually a half decent bloke. He is old but he likes to think he’s funny and we politely nod and laugh. Hell my mum even sends curry round his house!

So imagine when he comes out with that remark to the little kids who are what 10/11 years old? What is the need? So my dad (thinking he is the diplomat) walks over and confronts him to which my neighbour replies ‘white kids would never do that’

I know the cheeky bastard! That really got me mad! ‘Cos at the end of the day we are alright with him and before his racist views he seemed alright. Since then we aint seen him and frankly I don’t want to.

It just makes you think what your other white friends think of you. Now me I have a lot, hell my flatmates think I’ll be married to a white guy who will be named Thomas (in a fresh accent thats To-a-mass).

Im telling you there is no need for racism especially when your an old intelligent man talking to young kids who just want to have fun.

Loony!

So everyones seen the Friends episode where Phoebe gets married and Monica is in charge…yeah thats the one. Well lets say we had our very own Monica who made me draw up a wedding plan of how everything was going to work!

Let me tell you something before I proceed. At Asian weddings nothing really goes to plan and I’ll tell you why.

Us desi’s have ‘desi time.’ That basically means that when we have to be somwhere at 12.00PM we aint getting there for 1.00PM or 1.30PM. Yes I know talk about takin’ the pi55 but trust me I’m not exaggerating!

Another thing about us desi’s is we don’t get the whole ‘everything-has-to-be-done-in-order-or-to-a-plan.’ We do things by ‘guesstimate’ oh yes its as reliable as you pinning the tail on the donkey

But yeah as you may have guessed by my sarcastic nature things didn’t go according to plan on the wedding day at all. Important family members decided to turn up later then usual, people changed what they were meant to be doing on the day but irrespective of that the day went quite smooth, although there was some hiccups along the way!

All I know is that my body is in serious need to recovery. I’ll be back with some more of wha we got up to!

At english weddings you have people who are going round getting the guest book signed on behalf of the bride and groom. Here’s your chance to write some soppy words or if you’re really clever borrow a couple of lines from a song.

At desi weddings you have none of that! The nearest you get is something written in the card or its verbal, which half the time goes in one ear and out the other

So my other cousin, who lives in ‘Landan Town’ is somewhat of a coconut. She knows about her culture and can speak the lingo but she I guess has adapted to the country. She comes around today with the guest book to make everyone sign it. Its a nice thought I guess, something different.

It was funny to watch all the oldies trying to write something. Of course they wrote it in Urdu and lucky for my cousin, who is getting married, she can read it.

All the kids are also doin’ there bit.

But its funny how nothing like this would have even be considered back in the day.

‘Assi Koi Gore Han’ would have been the typical response…ahh.

Went to my cousins mendhi on Saturday and I have to say it was top notch! The food was bum and trust me when it comes to us desi’s we need to have hot food and nice and spicy food. If we don’t get that, we aren’t a happy bunch. Regardless tho when there is an Asian weddin’ all these brown mans are always goin’ to be complainin’ about suttin or the other.

Anyway I had a boogie on the dancefloor, which everyone was shocked by. No one has really seen me shake ma a55, especially when the a55 is shakin’ as well as mine

Since then we have been havin’ dholki nights. That mainly consists of singin’ to the beat of an Asian drum and then dancing away. A big part of the night for desi’s is the food.

ALREADY WITH THE FOOD…I here you say!

But seriously I’ve noticed when you’re living in a wedding house, food becomes a main priority. I have never eaten so well in my life before…especially nice spicy curry…hmmm.

Only earlier on today my cousin spent £70 buying different sorts of meat!

Anyway have to go now…I have hot lasagne waitin’ for me…ah the joys of life